What Is OCD Really Like?

As someone who has lived with OCD for as long as I can remember, let me try to explain what it actually is, not the version people joke about or misunderstand, but the reality of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder day after day.

OCD is one of those conditions that is talked about a lot, but rarely understood. People often think it means being tidy, organised, or a perfectionist. I am none of those things. I am very messy. OCD has nothing to do with liking things clean and everything to do with anxiety, fear, and responsibility.

What is OCD?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a mental illness that affects around 2.5 million people in the UK. It is classified as an anxiety disorder and is defined by a repeating cycle of intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours.

OCD works in a loop. An intrusive thought appears and causes intense anxiety or discomfort. To relieve that anxiety, a person performs a compulsion or ritual. This brings temporary relief, but the intrusive thought returns, sometimes in a slightly different form. The cycle then repeats.

The specific type of OCD someone experiences depends on the nature of their intrusive thoughts. These thoughts are not chosen. They are unwanted, distressing, and often completely out of character.

For example, someone might have intrusive thoughts about safety or responsibility. They may feel that they are responsible for keeping their family safe. To cope with this fear, they might repeatedly check doors, windows, or appliances. The checking reduces anxiety briefly, but soon the thought returns and the checking begins again.

Intrusive thoughts are not always logical or connected to real danger. In times of high stress, rituals can increase, change, or multiply. There is no set number of compulsions. One person may have a few. Another may have dozens.

This is one reason OCD is so hard to explain. Even when you live with it, it can feel confusing and exhausting.

Why OCD is so difficult to understand?

Repetition is at the core of OCD. The brain becomes stuck in a pattern where fear demands action and action briefly relieves fear. Over time, the brain learns that compulsions feel necessary, even when the person logically knows they are not.

People with OCD are usually very aware that their thoughts and behaviours are excessive or irrational. That awareness does not stop the urge. OCD does not respond to logic. It responds to anxiety.

Trying to explain this to someone who has never experienced it can feel impossible. Even after living with OCD for decades, I still struggle to put it into words.

One of the things that helped me start separating myself from my intrusive thoughts was writing them down rather than holding them in my head, tracking my patterns and seeing what state my mind was in when I was having my best and worst days. OCD thrives when thoughts feel urgent and unspoken. Putting them on paper slowed things down enough for me to see patterns rather than just panic.

Using a guided journal like the Discovery Journal helped me notice how my intrusive thoughts showed up, what triggered them, and how my compulsions were trying to reduce fear rather than prevent danger. It gave me a way to understand my OCD instead of just reacting to it.

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How do you get OCD?

OCD is complex and looks different for everyone. In my case, it has been lifelong. I started developing rituals as a child, long before I understood what they meant or where they might lead. At the time, it just felt normal.

OCD can begin at any age, but it often starts in childhood or adolescence. For some people, it appears after a traumatic event or prolonged stress. For others, it develops gradually through an accumulation of smaller experiences.

OCD is closely linked to anxiety disorders. People who experience high levels of anxiety may be more vulnerable to developing compulsions, although this is not always the case.

For years, I tried to work out whether my anxiety came first or my OCD. With time, therapy, and reflection, I realised that OCD was present early on, but when I experienced my first panic attack at twelve, the anxiety became more obvious and disruptive. The OCD faded into the background because I was used to it. The anxiety felt louder.

Many people never identify a single cause for their OCD. That can be frustrating, but it is also normal.

What living with OCD feels like.

I will be honest. OCD can feel torturous. It is painful because it feels like self-torture. I spent years feeling completely out of control with anxiety while feeling far too in control with my OCD.

This is one of the hardest things to explain. OCD creates a false sense of control. The compulsions feel necessary, even protective, while the anxiety feels overwhelming.

For me, OCD has affected my relationships, education, sleep, and overall progress in life. Over time, it becomes easy to see OCD as part of who you are, especially if you have never known life without it.

As my rituals have eased with work and support, I have had to learn who I am without them. That process is surprisingly difficult.

OCD often feels like constant pressure. A sense of responsibility that never switches off. Fear sits in the background of everything. For me, frustration was the strongest emotion. I knew I did not need to perform the compulsions, yet the urge felt unbearable.

There was always a battle between logic and compulsion.

One of the most painful parts of OCD is misunderstanding. People often tell you to just stop, to relax, or to ignore it. That does not work. OCD is deeply rooted and cannot be switched off by willpower.

Because of this, many people with OCD hide it instinctively. I became very good at hiding mine without even realising I was doing it. Shame and embarrassment become part of the condition.

How to support someone with OCD

Supporting someone with OCD can be difficult if you do not understand the condition. Pointing out compulsions, questioning behaviour, or joking about it often makes things worse.

If you notice behaviours and want to help, it is better to gently acknowledge what you have observed and make it clear that you are open to listening without judgement.

Helping someone complete compulsions may seem kind, and it can reduce distress in the moment. However, it is not a long-term solution and can increase dependence rather than encourage recovery.

Patience and understanding matter far more than fixing the behaviour.

OCD treatment options in the UK

OCD is treatable, but recovery looks different for everyone.

Psychodynamic therapy and counselling can help people explore early experiences and emotional patterns, especially when OCD is linked to childhood or trauma. Understanding how OCD developed can be an important part of healing.

Cognitive behavioural therapy and exposure and response prevention are the most commonly recommended treatments for OCD. CBT focuses on changing unhelpful thought patterns, while ERP involves gradually facing feared situations without performing compulsions.

CBT is available through the NHS via GP referral, although waiting lists can be long. Private therapy is more accessible but can be expensive and requires commitment.

There is no single right path. Treatment works best when it is personalised.

OCD is not about cleanliness, organisation, or personality quirks. It is about fear, responsibility, and anxiety trapped in a cycle.

Living with OCD is exhausting, confusing, and often invisible. But it is also manageable with the right understanding and support.

If you live with OCD, you are not weak, broken, or failing. You are dealing with a condition that is widely misunderstood and rarely explained properly.

Understanding OCD does not make it disappear, but it does make it easier to live with, and that matters more than people realise.